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21. They feel most people do not like them.
Most children feel like this sometimes. Some children feel this way most of the time. They really mean they believe most people don’t like them. By now, you understand how these feelings and ideas develop in foster children. They grow out of low self-esteem, bad life-experiences, poor social skills, and a life with way too much stress. Your good relationship with your foster child helps a lot. But you can do more.
Start by believing him. Say, “Okay, most people do not like you. I am not one of those who does not like you; but most people are. If it is true, it must have something to do with how you act, how you look, or how you treat them. You must be turning them off. If we can figure out how you are doing that, we also can figure out how you can stop doing that. It’s hard for me to see how you turn almost everyone off. That may be because I like you. Here is a place to start. How do they let you know they do not like you? That will be our first clue.”