Know-it-alls, The Humility Challenged, Certified Screw-ups

Do you have the misfortune of having to deal with a know-it-all, the humility challenged, a certified screw-up? If so, a little sympathy is coming your way. These humility challenged experts on everything are out there, just itching to screw something up and then point the finger at you, as they creep away. — Let’s dip into this a little further.

Blind How: Just Enough — Just On Time

Here's the thing. For those of us who cannot see, there are dozens of skills and strategies potentially available to us to do what we want to do, when we want to do whatever it is. For the sake of discussion, let's say there are seventy-two skills and strategies (Call them tools.) out there for any of us who goes to the time and bother to master them. Sure, there are way more than seventy-two, but since I can only handel quite a bit fewer than seventy-two, I'll stick with seventy-two. There is no point in totally overwhelming myself before I even get started with filling up my tool box.

Just for starters, there are three tools that are already there for the taking; and we may not have even noticed that they are there for us. The cool thing is that these three tools are free and only require putting them into our tool box. They do have a down side though. Just like a tiny hammer won't do the job if we have a big nail, a weak tool won't serve us very well when we need it for a big job. But it does not need to be a super hammer. It needs to be just big enough to do the job.

We also do not need to put a lot of extra tools into our tool box, just in case we need them some day. Instead, we can look down the road to figure out what tools we will need to do what we want to do as time goes on. Our job is to then make sure those tools are tucked into our tool box, just on time to do the job when that job needs done. -- You've got the idea: just enough tools there just on time to do what we want to do.

One more thing about these three tools. Without them, the other sixty-nine tools potentially available to us are likely to be ineffective, likely not to get the job done for us, likely to never make it into our tool box. Keep in mind that this is a do-it-yourself tool box we are talking about. If you have others who will do all of the work for you and are yourself fine with that, an empty tool box is all you need. Otherwise, you need some tools in your tool box. Not all seventy-two, but some, starting with these three. Think of them as prerequisites to putting more tools in your tool box.

Motivation:

I know, it always gets down to motivation. If we want to, then we might; but if we do not want to, we probably won't. We do occasionally do things we do not want to do, but usually we don't. It is also that hammer thing again. Little wants require little motivation and big wants require big motivation. But how much motivation is required to do what we want to do? -- Just enough of course.

Determination:

A lot of us who cannot see have plenty of motivation to do what we want to do. It's determination that is in short supply. We are highly motivated to develop the tools required to do what we want to do. We just seem to never get around to reading that book, listening to that podcast, signing up for that class or talking to the right person. What's going on here? It is pretty easy. We are motivated to develop the skill or strategy we need; but motivation alone is not enough. We also have to be determined to do what we need to do.

I suppose you may be saying, "Hey Gary, slow up there dude. What's this 'we' stuff? I'm motivated enough and as determined as most anyone else. I sure don't have a motivation problem or a determination problem for that matter. You are way off base if you think my lack of tools in my tool box is due to some limitation with me or my motivation and determination. It's way more complicated than that."

Well, okay. I get it. You have special circumstances that are preventing you from getting better tools, and there is little to nothing you can personally do about that. It is just too complicated to work out, no matter how motivated or determined you are. Your take is that I just don't understand how difficult it is for you; and most likely, no one else understands either.

Persistence:

There is one more tool that all of us who cannot see need in our tool box. It is one of those "must have" tools. Without persistence, motivation and determination will always fall short.

It is complicated for you? Here is what you may not know. It is complicated for all of us who cannot see; and sometimes it is excruciatingly complicated. It is enough to make us want to sit down and cry at times; and occasionally we may do just that. But here is the secret sauce: we get over it and then get on with it.

• When that next tool seems too hard and too far away, we get over it and get on with it.

• When getting that next tool seems impossibly complicated, we get over it and get on with it.

• When that next step seems too scary and fraught with unknown risk, we get over it and get on with it.

There you have it. getting the tools we need to do what we want to do, the tools we need to succeed rests on being motivated, being determined and on being persistent. Here is what may be a surprise. It is not a one part motivation, one part determination and one part persistence formula. Not even close. My personal experience tells me that the formula has a quite different mix.

• 10% motivation + 10% determination + 80% persistence = enough tools to succeed

Those of us who cannot see seldom fail to develop the tools we need due to a lack of motivation or determination. Rather, we do not succeed because we give up too soon, we quit before we are finished. It is the last mile of a journey and not the first that is truly difficult. And if the challenge is particularly important, each step along the way gets more arduous than the one before it. What to do? You already know don't you? – Get over it and get on with it.

Blind How Basics



Blind How Basics

 

Blind How (https://BlindHow.net) is
produced by Gary Crow, Ph.D. who has been blind since birth and has extensive
experience in mental health and child welfare administration, has spoken and trained
internationally, and has written numerous articles, books for adults and
children, and training guides. Most significantly, Gary knows how to succeed
without being able to see and values the chance to share his experience and
insights with you.

 

The
Social Context

 

Why might Blind
How … The Basics interest you?

 

• You
can't see and are looking for some tips and suggestions for how to do what you
want to do.

 

• You
spend time with someone who can't see and want some tips and suggestions for
how to be more helpful.

 

• You
are curious about how people who can't see are able to do what they do.

 

• You
want to know more about what people who can't see can do to succeed in a world
where most everyone else can see.

 

• You
want to start with the basics, tips for folks who don't know much of anything
about how to live a full life without being able to see.

 

• You
want to expand your understanding gradually to include more opportunities and
options for doing whatever you hope to do, when you can't see.

 

If I
tell you that I am blind, what comes to mind? Now if I simply tell you that I
can't see, how does the picture in your mind's eye change? Likely the change is
significant.

 

The
point is that telling someone that I'm blind seems to bring to mind a mixed bag
of ideas and emotions about what that means in general and about me
specifically. For the most part, people think about what I can't do, causing
them to feel sorry for me. Of course, not everyone is so limited in their
understanding, but most are.

 

If
instead I tell them that I can't see, people are frequently not sure what to do
or what to say. This is good news for me. They are then focused on what they
should say or do next and not on ideas and notions they have about blind people
that may be true, but often aren't true for me - or for most blind people for
that matter.

 

In
Blind How … The Basics, I share tips about things I have done and can do. If
you or someone you know can't see, the tips may be helpful. If you can see,
they may help you get a better handle when hanging out with people who can't
see. I hope the tips and discussion also help you be slower to pre-judge what
people can and cannot do just because they can't see.

 

If
that has us in sync with the purpose of Blind How … The Basics and how it
works, let's get on with it.

 

 

Read More

Fools and Damn Fools

There are the regular fools among us. They neither know better nor do better. We tend to give those folks a pass, since they have no control over just how stupid they are at times. And there are the rest of us who don’t have the excuse of being standard fools. We are just damn fools, yes all of us. We do our foolishness despite knowing better. We just don’t do better. This is not a permanent condition unless we extend our foolishness beyond five minutes a day. Gary has the skinny on this universal fact of life.