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Foster Children And Problems Getting Along With Others

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16. They often get their feelings hurt.

This problem is not as simple as it may first seem. It looks like the child is just too thin-skinned and unable to handle the give-and-take of being ten or thirteen. It is a rough time. Getting her feelings hurt happens easily if she lets it. This is a fact of life. Encouraging her to be a little tougher is good advice. The problem is this. The sign can be a symptom of other problems.

Children with learning problems are more likely to get their feelings hurt by teachers and by other children. It hurts when people call attention to her not doing well, especially if she has tried to do well. Children whose self-esteem is already low feel even worse when things happen that other youngsters would not think much about one way or the other. Children who have high stress in their lives are much more vulnerable than those who do not. Handicapped youngsters, children with other physical or emotional problems, and those who are already self-conscious for some reason get their feelings hurt easily. Being a foster child has its own problems. It really can be complicated.

It is not enough to encourage your foster child to be more thick-skinned. She needs help with her feelings and with how she thinks about herself. You can do this better than anyone since you are with her every day. You are there when her feelings are hurting.

Here is an idea. Take her side. Whatever happened, start by getting a little angry for her about what happened and with who did it to her. She matters; and her feelings matter to you. She needs you on her side right now. Advice and guidance can come later.