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4: The Art of Listening
The Experiment had taken George and his daughters on a profound journey of self-discovery and understanding. Each scenario they explored had challenged their beliefs and opened their minds to new perspectives. They were eager to delve deeper into the intricacies
of communication and the power of listening.
They had always prided themselves on their ability to engage in meaningful conversations, but they realized that true communication went beyond simply expressing their own thoughts and ideas. It required active listening, empathy, and a genuine desire to understand others.
To explore this topic, they decided to focus on a subject that often led to heated debates: politics. George had always been a staunch conservative, while his daughters leaned more towards progressive ideologies. They recognized that their differing political beliefs often hindered their ability to have productive discussions.
They began by setting ground rules for their conversations. They agreed to approach the topic with an open mind, to listen attentively without interrupting, and to ask questions to gain a deeper understanding. They also decided to research and present facts and statistics to support their arguments, aiming to separate truth from opinion.
Their first political discussion centered around the topic of healthcare. George believed in a free-market approach, arguing that individuals should be responsible for their own
healthcare expenses. His daughters, on the other hand, advocated for universal healthcare, emphasizing the importance of providing access to medical services for all.
As they engaged in the conversation, they realized that their differing beliefs were rooted in their personal experiences.
George had always been self-reliant and had never faced significant healthcare challenges. His daughters, however, had witnessed friends and loved ones struggle to afford medical treatment.
Through active listening, they began to understand the underlying motivations behind each other’s beliefs. George’s perspective was shaped by his belief in personal responsibility and limited government intervention. His daughters’ perspective was influenced by their compassion for those in need and their belief in the importance of societal support.
As they continued their discussions, they discovered that their differing political beliefs were not as black and white as they had initially thought. They recognized that there were valid arguments on both sides and that finding common ground required empathy and a willingness to consider alternative viewpoints.
I was going to sit on the sideline and listen, but I just can’t hold back.
I am coming to understand that Laurens van der Post has a point. “Human beings are perhaps never more frightening than when they are convinced beyond doubt that they are right.” It seems to me that our elected politicians are increasingly convinced beyond doubt that they are right. But the truly frightening element is that they also believe that anyone who disagrees with them is, along with being wrong, stupid, subversive and unamerican. Name calling and finger pointing have become the political coin of the day. Ezra Pound thought that “What matters is not the idea a man holds, but the depth at which he holds it;” and the “I’m right and everyone who disagrees is wrong” approach to political discourse is deeply held.
It would be easy to just chalk it up to politics and the political game were it not for what I find to be a most disturbing theme. Dodinsky tells us that “Life will magnify what you choose to believe;” and the political single mindedness is definitely magnifying. Herbert Agar takes the point a step further, “Man tends to treat all his opinions as principles;” and unfortunately, poorly constructed and ill-considered ideas and reactions are elevating to the level of governing principles.
I could make my list of action and inaction within our federal government that I think is wrong and ill-considered, as could you. I could point to this politician or that who I think is making things worse for all of us, as could you. That fact not withstanding, I suspect we may agree that we are going through a time when there is less and less room for negotiation, diplomacy, compromise and civil discussion. We might also agree that representation has taken a back seat to re-election, public service has taken a back seat to political popularity and the rule of law has taken a back seat to whatever those in power can get away with. Of this I am sure: our government does not function the way I believed it does and perhaps never did. I’m toying with the possibility that it is less a government of laws and more a government for and by those with the most power, money and influence. –Ok, I’ll shut up, I promise.
Back to our story
To further enhance their communication skills, George and his daughtors decided to incorporate a technique called reflective listening. This involved paraphrasing and summarizing each other’s statements to ensure accurate understanding. They also practiced active listening by maintaining eye contact, nodding in agreement, and asking clarifying questions.
Their next political discussion revolved around the topic of immigration. George held strong beliefs about the importance of border security and strict immigration policies. His daughters, however, emphasized the value of diversity and the contributions immigrants make to society.
Through reflective listening, they discovered that their differing beliefs were influenced by their personal backgrounds. George had grown up in a homogeneous community and had limited exposure to different cultures. His daughters, on the other hand, had experienced the benefits of diversity firsthand through their interactions with people from various backgrounds.
As they listened to each other’s perspectives, they realized that their beliefs were not solely based on facts and statistics but were also shaped by their emotions and personal experiences. They understood that empathy played a crucial
role in bridging the gap between their differing viewpoints.
The Experiment had taught George and his daughters that true communication was an art that required patience, understanding, and a genuine desire to connect. They had come to appreciate the power of listening and the importance of seeking common ground, even in the face of disagreement.
As they concluded their political discussions, George and his daughters felt a sense of accomplishment. They had not only deepened their understanding of each other but had also honed their communication skills. They recognized that their journey of self-discovery and connection was far from over, but they were excited to continue exploring the complexities of life, living, and getting along with people.
With newfound appreciation for the art of listening, they
eagerly looked forward to the next chapter of their experiment. They had come to understand that true wisdom lay in the ability to listen, learn, and grow. The Experiment had become more than just a quest to distinguish fact from belief; it had become a transformative journey of connection and understanding.
For now, be well, do well and do something nice for someone. He or she will appreciate it and you both will have a better day.