Don’t Make Demands – Audio TidBits Podcast

I’m at it again. It is nearly impossible to resist sharing an old saying or two. “It’s my way or the highway.” “Do it or else.” Oh well, the temptation is just too much. “If you don’t, you’ll be sorry.” “You are going to get exactly what you deserve.” Maybe I should have just cut to the chase with, “Don’t threaten.” After all, making threats is what demands and one-sided conditions really are. …

Relating Long Term (11) – How To Matter – Audio TidBits Podcast

Thanks for joining us for this special episode of the How To Matter podcast. James has developed a series about how to matter with people with whom you have a long term relationship. You are about to hear one of the episodes from the series. If you subscribed to the podcast from or from your favorite podcast player, all of the previous episodes in the series are there for you. Please enjoy this episode now.

I’m Human but Are You? – Audio TidBits Podcast

Hey folks, there is something I think needs clarified. Since it is going to become an issue sooner or later, we might as well get it out in the open today.


World UFO day was a while back and knowing that got me to thinking. If aliens are smart enough to get from wherever they were to where we are, they are also probably smart enough to do that without our knowing about it. They could easily be among us without our having a clue.


Would they look like aliens? Of course not. They would simply materialize in ways that let them blend in transparently. We might never know that there were aliens among us.


Our only hope is that there are tells that we can detect and then correctly interpret. Tells are little behavioral clues that let us know that all is not what it purports to be. Gamblers talk about poker players showing tells that give away what is going on behind that poker face. Some people claim to be able to read the tells that let them know when someone is lying. It seems likely that aliens would have inadvertent tells that let us know that they are among us but not one of us.


The first issue is just how we can be sure who is and who is not an alien. Try glancing around when you are near other people. Do you notice anything strange or peculiar about them or their behavior? Concentrate on picking up on any tells. Is there anything that gives you second thought?


As a place to start, limit your investigation to people you know well. Those are the people with whom you are the most familiar and in whom you are most likely to recognize alien tells. You are aware of all of their human traits, their universally human behavior. What you are looking for is anything that causes you to wonder if they are actually human.


I don’t know for sure what an alien tell might be but suspect it looks like a momentary disconnect, an instance of weirdness, a since that the other person is not quite with us, is not quite one of us. I’m pretty sure you know what I mean. What’s more, I think it is highly likely that you have picked up on these little tells slipping out with people you know but have not yet classified them as alien. You have just wondered if that person is for real.


They may be for real but maybe not. The unsettling truth is that they may be an alien trying to pass as human. The alien among us may be in the room with us right now or merely an image on TV or YouTube. He or she may be sleeping on the street or pretending to lead a nation. There is no way to know with certainty who is for real and who is only posing. Our only hope is to learn to spot the tells.


I wish I had an answer to the pressing question. I know I am human but are you? My challenge is to figure out the answer to that simple question. In turn, the challenge is yours as well. How can you know if I am human or simply posing.

The Rock That Refuses to Move

As children, many of us were told that we could be anything we wanted to be. Although the sentiment was likely expressed with the best of intentions, we learned over time that it was not altogether true. There were things we could not do, roles we could not assume, problems we could not solve and things we could not change, no matter how much we wanted to change them, no matter how hard we tried. Now and then, we confronted the rock that refuses to move.

Perhaps it was the same people who told us that we could be anything we wanted to be who now told us that we should just accept the things we cannot change. It can make us wish that they would make up their minds. Let’s spend a few minutes thinking about the rocks we cannot move but focus in on people we want to change, for their own good, of course. They sometimes definitely qualify as one of those rocks that refuses to move. No matter what we do, no matter how hard we try, they simply refuse to change. So what to do? That’s the question we explore in this episode of Audio Tidbits. Please join me.

Who Intimidates You?

Have you ever heard someone say, “No one intimidates me?” What do you think? Perhaps you have said that yourself.

I suspect that the person who makes such a declaration is somehow missing the obvious or maybe just doesn’t get it. Even if we are the best in the world at something we do, we aren’t the best in the world at everything we do. In this episode, I discuss those times when we aren’t the best and know it. There is someone or many someones who are much better at what we want to do than we are.

What do you do or want to do, knowing that you aren’t the best and most likely won’t ever come close to being the best? Who do you know that is much better at it than you are? That is where to look when trying to decide who intimidates you.

If this all rings a little bell for you, press play and listen. I have a tip you may find helpful.

Are You Usually More Up-Tight or Relaxed?

The title tells the story. Let’s spend a few minutes thinking about just why some of us are usually up-tight and feeling frantic while others of us are usually relaxed and feeling good about ourselves and how things are going. There are lots of reasons but a couple of things are pretty common factors. When you have finished listening to the discussion, take a few extra minutes to relax and enjoy the music.