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Have you ever played Twenty Questions? Someone is thinking of something. There usually is a category or some other limitation; but you need to guess what the person has in mind. You can ask up to twenty questions that can be answered “Yes,” or “No.” If you figure it out, you win. If not, the other person gives you the answer and is the winner.
Imagine how it would be to play this game if you had no idea what the category was. Now imagine how you would feel if, after your twenty questions, you were never told the answer. Do you think that you would keep playing? It is doubtful.
Relationships where one or both people do not talk and share are like the Twenty Question game. At first, whoever is most socially inclined asks the questions. The answers are non-responsive and vague. There is just not much useful feedback. Maybe sooner and maybe later, the twenty questions decrease to fifteen. The game is too frustrating and is getting boring. Fifteen decreases to ten and then to five. It is really exasperating and not worth the effort. Besides, who cares anyway? Five becomes four and the game fizzles out. No one is talking and sharing and no one cares. …