Partners in Marriage
This activity works in the same way as the last activity, except this activity focuses on being partners within marriage. Use a five-point scale to rate yourself on each of the items in the activity with five equals almost always, four equals usually, three equals sometimes, two equals seldom, and one equals almost never. You will also notice that the items have been divided into subareas of the partner relationship. Please note that “being parents” is part of the partnership but is not discussed here, since that aspect of the partnership has been covered in detail earlier.
Once you have finished, add together your ratings for all partnership items and divide by the total number of statements. This will give you a partnership rating. The same technique can be used for developing a rating within each subsection of the partnership items below. The goal is to maintain a score of 4.0 or higher for all partnership items and within each partnership area. When problems develop, coming back to this activity will be a useful way of keying in on the problem points. Try to get your partnership rating up to 4.0 or higher and keep it there for two or three months as a way of positively responding to the problem points.
1. I keep my bills under control.
2. I effectively manage my money.
3. I avoid unnecessary financial difficulties or obligations.
4. I have and follow a budget.
5. I am satisfied with the material possessions I have.
6. I involve my spouse in major financial decisions.
7. I understand and take care of my financial rights and responsibilities.
8. I deal effectively with the financial difficulties that arise from time to time.
9. I contribute my fair share to the financial dimension of our relationship.
10. I am careful not to place too much or too little emphasis on financial matters.
11. I understand and am sensitive to what my spouse wants for himself/herself.
12. I am clear about what I want for myself outside of my marriage.
13. I understand and respond to the special ways my spouse wants me to show love and caring.
14. I understand how to be and am an active and involved participant in our marriage.
15. I maintain healthy relationships and involvements with friends and relatives – including ex-relatives as appropriate.
16. I relate comfortably and effectively to my stepchildren. (If not applicable, give yourself a rating of “4”.)