Table of Contents

THE PARENTS LEAD PARENTING GUIDE

Responding in Moderation:


Rules and Boundaries:


Discipline:


Expectations for Children:


Development:


The Learning Process:


Assessing Your Relationship:


Assessing Your Child’s Adjustment:


Is your child;



Two: Your Growing Child

TOUCHING AND PHYSICAL CONTACT:


TOILET TRAINING:


LANGUAGE DEVELOPMENT:


SPEECH PROBLEMS:



EATING AND TABLE MANNERS:


ADOLESCENTS:



TABLE MANNERS:



EATING TOO FAST OR TOO SLOWLY:



LEARNING ABOUT BOUNDARIES AND LIMITS:


HOW TO GET YOUR CHILD TO STAY IN BED:


HELPING AROUND THE HOUSE:


THE EXPANDING WORLD OF EXPERIENCES AND ACTIVITIES:


LEARNING ABOUT RESPONSIBILITIES:


PHYSICAL SKILLS:


ROLLER SKATES AND BICYCLES:


FIGHTING AND FENDING FOR ONESELF:


TALKING BACK:


Three: Your Emotional Child

CHILDREN AND FEAR:


FEAR OF THUNDER, SNAKES, AND SPIDERS:



NIGHTMARES:


ANGER AND TEMPER TANTRUMS:


POUTING AND WITHDRAWAL:


EXCITEMENT AND HAVING FUN:


BEING BORED:


DISAPPOINTMENT AND LOSS:


LOVE AND HATE:


HATE:



Four: Your Moral Child

STEALING:


LYING:


LEARNING ABOUT RELIGION:


LEARNED VALUES VERSUS EXPERIENCED VALUES:


CUSTOMARY VALUES VERSUS MORAL VALUES:


MEMORIZED VALUES VERSUS SELF-COMPUTED VALUES:


RESOLVING VALUE-CONFLICTED SITUATIONS:


Five: Your Social Child

FAMILY AND FRIENDS:


FRIENDS AND PLAYMATES:


GOING TO SCHOOL:


GETTING ALONG WITH TEACHERS AND SCHOOLMATES:



STAYING AT SCHOOL:



GROUPS AND COOPERATIVE ACTIVITIES:


CLUBS AND CLUBHOUSES:


HIGH SCHOOL AND HANGING OUT:


TEENAGERS AND CARS:


EXTRACURRICULAR AND OTHER ACTIVITIES:


TEENAGERS AND DATING:


OTHER FRIENDSHIPS:


Six: Your Thinking Child

LEARNING BY OBSERVING:


LEARNING THROUGH IMITATION:


LEARNING THROUGH TRIAL AND ERROR:


LEARNING ABOUT THINGS AND RELATIONSHIPS:


LEARNING ABOUT PEOPLE AND SITUATIONS:


SANTA CLAUS AND THE TOOTH FAIRY:


SUCCEEDING ACADEMICALLY:


PIANO LESSONS AND OTHER EXTRACURRICULAR INSTRUCTION:


RIGHTS AND RESPONSIBILITIES:


LEARNING TO THINK INDEPENDENTLY:


Seven: Your Child And Stress

Signs of stress:



Restlessness and trouble calming down:


Trouble concentrating and paying attention:


Trouble going to sleep or awakening during the night:


Bad dreams and nightmares:


Headaches:


Trouble with an upset stomach:


Cries easily or has crying spells:


Loses his temper easily and quickly:


Eight: Your Child And Depression

Signs of depression:



Not getting up-and-over the loss of an important relationship:


Not getting over a serious loss or disappointment:


Thinks he cannot do anything about what happens to him:


Talks about suicide:


Suicide attempts:


Nine: Your Child And School Adjustment Problems

The dimensions of learning:



Signs of learning and school difficulty



Trouble making good choices and decisions:


Problems expressing his thoughts and ideas:


Trouble doing things most children his age do easily:


Difficulty understanding school assignments and what teachers expect:


Trouble understanding what he reads:


Confused about what he is doing, what people expect or what people are saying:


Trying harder does not lead to his homework and other assignments getting better and easier:


Does some assignments very well and others very badly:


Forgets to do homework or has trouble remembering what was assigned:


Difficulty following instructions and directions:


Problems paying attention to time or managing time:


Gets bad grades:


Trouble asking for help or letting anyone help:


Difficulty accepting or dealing with criticism:


Always has excuses for not doing well:


Thinks his not doing well is someone else’s fault:


Has to have an adult standing over him to get him to do his school work:


Feels teachers and other adults at school have it in for him:


Disrupts the classroom or the activities of other children:


Makes no effort to cooperate and get along:


Skips school or misses school a lot:


Ten: Your Child And Behavior Problems

Signs of serious behavior problems:



Pouts and becomes very difficult to live with:


Becomes nasty and hateful:


Gets extremely angry when things do not go his way:


Screams and yells at people:


Breaks and damages things:


Intentionally hits and hurts people (or animals):


Starts and gets into fights:


Bullies and picks on others:


Treats people cruelly:


Refuses to follow the rules or behave like you or other adults expect:


Refuses to accept the authority of parents, teachers, or others in charge:


Often behaves in socially inappropriate ways:


Uses illegal drugs:


Has friends who often get into trouble:


Has a reputation for not being someone others can depend on or trust:


Does not care if he upsets or hurts people:


Gets into trouble with the police or courts:


Eleven: Your Child And Relationship Problems

Signs of relationship problems:



Tries to keep his friends all to himself:


Often gets his feelings hurt:


Often becomes the brunt of teasing and put-downs:


Gets up-tight and nervous when anyone is angry or upset:


Refuses to stick up for himself:


Tries to please everyone and keep everyone happy:


Feels like most people do not like him:


Is rejected or ignored by most people his age:


Worries and frets about not doing things well enough and about failing:


Resists starting things because he is afraid they will turn out badly anyway:


Gives up too quickly and too easily:


Persistently feels very unhappy about his physical and sexual development:


Dislikes himself or puts himself down:


Feels he does not fit in or belong anywhere:


Thinks no one loves him:


Feels unlovable:


Losing interest in most people and activities:


Trouble making and keeping friends:


Avoids people and social activities:


Only likes activities he can do alone:


Refuses to talk to anyone about his feelings and thoughts:


Twelve: Your Child And Mental Illness

Signs of mental illness:



Mood jumps from one extreme to the other and he cannot control it:


Vomits after eating or uses laxatives to control his weight:


Goes on extreme eating binges:


Starves himself:


Mistrusts everyone and thinks people are out to get him:


Very strange thoughts and feelings he cannot understand or control:


Extreme fears that keep him from doing things most children his age do easily:


Trouble having people close or touching him:


Urinates or defecates in his clothes:


Cuts and hurts himself on purpose:


A persistent interest in fire, watching fires, setting fires, and doing things with fire:


Hears voices and sees things others do not hear and cannot see:


Addendum: Your Child And Common Medical Concerns