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Simon says, “Have faith.”

“I think you are fine just the way you are, trust you with that which is mine, and believe that you give everything you do your best effort.” There you go, “faith” in a nutshell. Are you honestly able to say that to your significant other? If so, you have faith. If not, there may be a problem.

“You are fine just the way you are.” If you can say this, you have put the first building block of faith into place. Each of you undoubtedly sees areas where you could personally improve, things you could do better. You certainly believe in continuous improvement. The key is that you each apply it to yourself but not to each other. Your relationship is not about judging or criticizing. It is about respect, trust, and mutual acceptance. You are not into changing each other, although each can expect the other’s support if the individual chooses to change.

“I trust you with that which is mine.” You have put the second building block into place. It includes material things but also holds things that are more personal. You have much of real value on this block. It holds your feelings, a piece of who you are and who you want to be, a part of your life that you cannot recover if it is lost. You have entrusted these intangibles freely and without reservation. You have committed an act of faith and expect nothing in return beyond having your faith reciprocated.

“You give everything you do your best effort.” The third building block of faith may be the most important, since the first two depend on it. Would you say, “You are fine just the way you are,” and “I trust you with that which is mine,” if you knew that you were not going to get “best effort?” Not on your life, especially since your life is partially what is at risk.

Simon’s point is simple. Faith is built from acceptance and trust but rests on believing that each of you is getting the best the other has to offer, every day, in every way. Sensitive Simon will not sing his theme song for you here; but please feel free to hum a verse or two should you have the urge.

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