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Assessing Your Relationship:

How are you and your child getting along with each other? For the following questions, is the answer almost always yes, usually yes, sometimes yes, seldom yes, or almost never yes?

As a guide, rate the question as “5” if your answer is almost always yes. Put 4 for usually, 3 for sometimes, 2 for seldom, and 1 for almost never. (If your child is too young for the question to apply to your relationship, just skip that question.)

*     Are you responsible and fair when disciplining your child?

*     Do you know what your child needs and what is important to him?

*     Can you get your child to cooperate with you without your getting frustrated or upset?

*     Do you spend time every day talking or playing with your child?

*     Does your child like to spend time with you?

*     Are you pleased with and proud of your child?

*     Do you know about and are you interested in your child’s activities?

*     Do you know about and are you helping with your child’s problems?

*     Do you set a good example for your child?

*     Do you give your child space to grow and learn on his own?

*     Are you interested in what your child thinks and feels about things?

*     Do you do all you can to support your child’s interests, activities, and goals?

If you have rated all twelve questions at the 5 or 4 levels, you and your child likely enjoy a healthy, productive relationship. There are occasional problems and issues but you and he are working them through. If instead, you have rated some questions at the 3 level or lower, there are problems and issues within your relationship needing your careful and caring attention. Without specific work, those problems and issues tend to intensify and become harder to cope with as your child gets older. Now is the best time to resolve the problems and work through the issues.

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