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Orientation of Spouses to Each Other

This activity is designed to facilitate your thinking about you and your spouse in terms of the orientation of each of you.  It will be helpful to think about orientation as simply a reflection of individual style.  On the dotted line between the ends of each scale below, put an X toward the end that best characterizes you.  Put a Y toward the end that best characterizes your spouse.  If you believe that either of you falls about the middle, put the X or Y toward the middle.  Once you have followed this process for each of the nine scales, think about what the implications are for each of you and for your relationship with each other.  What do you think the strong points are that result from your individual orientations?  What do you think the problematic points are that result?

It will also be helpful if your spouse completes this activity.  This will give each of you and opportunity to share your perceptions of yourselves and of each other.  Remember that your orientation is simply a matter of style.  It is neither a positive nor negative, good nor bad.  It simply represents a dynamic or factor within your relationship that influences how you perceive and relate to each other.

Once you have completed the activity to this point, go back and put a Z on the line where you feel you would like to be with respect to each scale.  The difference between where you think you are and where you would like to be represents an important area where you will be able to invest personal time and energy in enhancing your personal style and your relationship with your spouse.

1. More dependent…..More independent

2. More people oriented…..More task oriented

3. More oriented to approaching people…..More oriented to withdrawing from people

4. More oriented to affiliation and involvement with others…..More oriented to personal achievement and success

5. More oriented to the quality of experience and activities…..More oriented to the effectiveness of experiences and activities

6. More oriented to details and fine points…..More oriented to generalities and the bigger picture

7. More optimistic…..More pessimistic

8. More oriented to security…..More oriented to opportunity

9. More oriented to consistency and predictability…..More oriented to excitement and spontaneity

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