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The Loving Touch

“Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years.” — Simone Signoret

The tiny threads that sew you and your beloved together are intimate and very private; and the loving touch is definitely one of those tiny threads that bind you to each other. It comes in many forms and flavors from a sentimental card or candy in a pretty box to a warm embrace. Flowers and a romantic dinner work as well. Whatever form it takes, the loving touch means that it’s an uncommon moment, a moment for special friends and lovers.

But alas, the cards will be read and the candy eaten, expensive presents discarded and sincere words forgotten. In time the flowers will wilt and the romantic dinner become but yesterday’s fond memory. Something more is needed: a loving touch not to fade, not to be forgotten. It needs to provide that special advantage that Judith Viorst said marriage brings to the two of you. “One advantage of marriage is that, when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again.” To sustain your love until you fall in love again, the loving touch needs to last longer than the day and keep reminding, keep saying, “I love you.”

This spirit is hard to capture in a well-intended gift or simple verse. It isn’t to be found in things you can touch and hold. Rather, the spirit of the loving touch is in the tie that binds. It is hard to define but impossible to miss. The loving touch that lasts, the kind that keeps saying, “I love you,” is filled with added value that lasts far beyond the moment.

What are these extras that make the loving touch linger past the moment? The added value includes affection any time your beloved needs a hug; and just as your beloved accepts you, warts and all, it’s a two-way-street.

There also are ingredients far less adult, far less mature. They are playful and gentle, spontaneous and mischievous. They are full of fun and good times, private games and warm summer evenings. These ingredients are for you and your beloved and for all the little kids like you who have to sometimes act your age, be adults, and take care of business. You do what you need to do as best you can; but when the child in you gets to hang out with the child who lives deep within your beloved, life is at its best.

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