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Negotiation: Everything You Ever Need to Know

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SOME FINAL TIPS

Some final tips will help you polish your negotiating skills. The list below are seen frequently when negotiators are running a game. Watch for those times when the game is being run with you; and as your skill increases, you may want to carefully and cautiously run the game on the person with whom you are negotiating, although do this sparingly.

Nibbling – you think that the negotiations are over. Just as we are about to commit to the agreement, I come back for a little more – a little nibble. The idea is to make you think that I might simply back out of the agreement if you do not go along with this little nibble, give me a little extra. Not responding to the nibble seems hardly worth jeopardizing the agreement. Just remember that a game is being run on you.

Set aside – especially during the first 80 percent of the negotiating process, one or two issues tend to come up that seem insurmountable. This game suggests that you simply get me to agree to set that issue aside for a while, giving us time to work on other issues. The idea is that, once we have agreed on all the other issues, the one that was set aside will not seem that important or unmanageable. Also, we will have spent a lot of time and energy almost coming to agreement. The issue that was set aside then looms as a relatively small issue in relationship to everything that has already been accomplished. At that point, the self-perceived pressure is to agree on the issue that was set aside. It may in fact, be the most important issue in the whole negotiation. Nonetheless, it usually gets resolved very quickly toward the end of the negotiating process. If the issue that is being set aside is really important to you, refuse to set it aside saying, “I think we need to deal with this now. We could agree about everything else; but if this is still in the way, we still have a problem. Let’s talk about this now.”

Good guy/Bad guy – this comes up when you are negotiating with more than one person, keeping in mind that you include everyone in the negotiations who has any control or influence over the consideration sought. You are talking with one of the people and he/she says, “I would like to do this, would like to go along with you. The real problem is (put in the name of the other person involved.) He or she is really hard to deal with about this. If you will go along with me on a couple of points, I will see if I can get him or her to go along with what you want.” It is the old cartoon situation of the harried mother trying to get the youngster to cooperate. She says, “Either you deal with me now – cooperate with me – or you can ‘wait till your father gets home.’ ”

Reject the first offer – this is exactly what it sounds like, although sometimes it is not understood as simply a game someone is running. The person simply assumes that you have not made your best offer and rejects your first offer to induce you to improve on it. Instead of automatically improving on your first offer then, you might say, “Wow! That really surprised me. That is about as good as I can do. Just out of curiosity, what kind of offer would you consider?” The other person then makes an offer. Running the same game, you say, “I’m sorry, I don’t think I heard you correctly. You did not suggest…, did you?” The other person then indicates that this is what was said. You then say, “That is way beyond anything I can handle right now.” He or she then says, “What could you handle?” You then say, “What I originally suggested is about all I can handle right now.”

Play dumb – at some point in the process we will get to a point where we are getting fairly close to agreement. If you were to give a little more or request a little less or if I were to give a little more or request a little less, we would be in agreement. Think about this in terms of money. Suppose you are at twelve dollars and I am at sixteen dollars. The temptation is to say, “Let’s split the difference – let’s compromise at fourteen dollars.” Never do this. See if you can get me to do it. Say, “I can see that we are only four dollars apart. That’s fairly close. I don’t know what to do. Do you have any suggestions?” I will probably then suggest that we split the difference at fourteen dollars. You then say, “Well, that is surely better. I can see you’re really trying to make this work. We are just about there. Being two dollars apart is not much. If we were just a little closer, I think I would be okay with the agreement. What do you suggest?” Just be sure not to push the game to far. Probably getting me someplace more toward you than simply splitting the difference is the point at which you should say, “You have definitely worked out something we can both be comfortable with. I think we should agree on the thirteen dollars you are suggesting. What do you think?” Never go for the “last ounce of flesh,” as they say.

The ice cream cone – you know you are dealing with an expert negotiator when this game is being run. I have an ice cream cone and you would like to have it. I am asking for a little more consideration than you are willing to offer. I say to you, “Why don’t you go ahead and have a bite. If it is not just what you want, I’ll keep what’s left and you do not have to give me anything.” My hope is that once you have tried it you will develop an immediate desire for the rest of the ice cream cone and will give me a little more than you had intended to offer so that you can have it now. Salesmen who offer a free home trial – with no obligation – are running this game. Youngsters who are skilled negotiators are also running the game when their offer is to do the dishes if you will reduce control over their activities enough to enable them to go to a movie. The youngster says, “I would like permission to go to the movie and thought that, since you are going to do this nice thing for me, I would do the dishes even though it is not my turn.” The youngster has made a good consideration for consideration offer. You say, “No, I do not think that your going to the movie tonight is a good idea.” The expert negotiator does not see this as a final decision. Rather, he or she runs the ice cream cone game. You go into the kitchen forty-five minutes later to find out the dishes have been done. If for some reason you did not go in, he/she will find some reason why you should come into the kitchen. You then see that the dishes are done and say, “Well, you went ahead and did the dishes. I told you that you could not go to the movie.” Our junior negotiator then says, “I know, I just thought that doing the dishes would be a nice thing to do anyway.” Will you simply say “thank you” or reconsider your “no movie” decision? As with other games, it was worth a try, from the young person’s point of view.

Willing to walk – never get into a position where you are not willing to walk, terminate the negotiations. If I ever get the impression that you will hang in there no matter what, you are totally at my mercy. At a minimum, I will probably be able to get you to give me more than you really wanted to give. Also, I will simply “dig in” and give no more than I have already offered. In fact, if I really believe that you will not walk, you may find me actually reducing my offer. Simply remember that, if you ever reach a point where you are unwilling to walk, the negotiations are over. The outcome is totally under my control.

Horse trading – remember that 80 percent of the movement will occur during the final 20 percent of the process. Here we are talking about an old horse trading principle. Always save a little of your consideration for the final moments of the negotiating process. Do not run out of negotiating room until you get to the end of the negotiating process. Always have a couple of options left for horse trading. Another benefit is that I will leave the negotiation feeling that I got the last concession. That will make me feel a little smug and feel as if I am the superior negotiator. Among other things, this will probably lead to my underestimating you the next time we negotiate.

Out waiting – the person with whom you are negotiating will gradually get a little frustrated and will want to move the process along. He or she will probably be impatient with only 20 percent of the progress being made during the first 80 percent of the available time. Here the key is to relax, be patient, and simply out wait the other person. There is a strong likelihood that he or she will make an additional offer, increase his or her consideration, or do something else to move the process along. Just by being more patient and waiting, you have gotten more of what you wanted.

Withdraw your offer – this is an easy game to run but must be managed very sparingly and very cautiously. Suppose you have offered to spend a half-hour with someone and he or she wants you to spend an hour. The negotiations seem to be reaching an impasse. You say, “Well, maybe it is just as well that we aren’t coming to agreement about this. As I think about it, I’m not sure that I even have half-an-hour. Probably fifteen minutes or so is really all I can spare right now.” The idea is that the other person will feel like the deal is getting away from him or her. Instead of holding out for the hour, he or she will grasp at the thirty minutes that seem to be slipping away. The other person says, “Wait a minute. You offered to spend a half-an-hour. I’m going to hold you to that.” You say, “Well, I really do not have the time to spare; but since I did agree to a half-an-hour, I will be as good as my word. You have a half-an-hour.”

The reluctant dealer – this is a little bit like withdrawing the offer. Instead, you take the position that we can talk about this but that you are really reluctant to even consider it. “I have a lot of reservations about this. It is just something that I am not very comfortable with. We can talk about it; but I really don’t think it is something I can handle at this point.” The game is to get me to convince you not only why you should give up your consideration but why you should want and accept the consideration I am offering. This puts me in the position of needing to manage both sides of the negotiations, with your reluctant participation.

The decoy – this game is run by true experts. It works like this. You make what you think is a simple, straightforward consideration for consideration offer. My goal is to complicate the negotiations. I do this by either making things seem like they are a lot more complicated than they really are or by introducing elements or issues into the negotiations that are not really relevant or at issue. I simply introduce them as if they were relevant or at issue, assuming that you will treat anything I say as relevant and important. For example, a teenager wants to use the car. He or she offers to buy the gas, be in by midnight, and wash the car before using it. A nice consideration for consideration offer. The parent, running the decoy game, says, “I don’t know. You know that there was a really bad wreck last night and three youngsters were injured. I just don’t know about your using the car.” This is a pure decoy or what is sometimes referred to as a red herring. The problem for the youngster is to decide whether this is a negotiating game that is being run or if the parent is someone who just brings up irrelevant issues. The youngster says – being a good negotiator – “That was really a bad accident. You are like me. We are both still shocked about it. Is being in at twelve o’clock okay?” Good for our junior negotiator. Not only was the decoy parried, the comeback was one that simply assumed use of the car and moved the negotiations to the time to come home. With that kind of skill already shown, we can simply assume that twelve o’clock was well within the negotiating limit and that a somewhat earlier time would be acceptable.” How did the negotiation end? As the youngster walked out the door to get into the car, the parent said, “Be careful and be sure to be in by eleven-thirty.”