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Foster Children And Suicide

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38. They have attempted suicide.

Most children who kill themselves have attempted suicide before. Also, many children who attempt suicide will later kill themselves. The point is a suicide attempt is always serious no matter how trivial it may seem at the time.

You can now see suicide is a process and not a single act. It is seldom just something that happened. The child thinks about it for a long time. The child adds up her losses, disappointments, humiliations, times she does not fit in, and when she thinks she does not belong. These all build up to feelings of not being in control, hopelessness, and being unable to make things better. A child who attempts suicide always needs counseling and special help. She also needs you and needs to talk about her fears and frustrations and about her anger and emptiness.

Consider this example.

Things had been going from bad to worse for Holly for several months. It started when her brother died in a car wreck. He was her best buddy when they were not arguing. Steve was the only person in her life she could talk with about things that really mattered. Steve just listened and thought she was pretty.

She knew she would never get over Steve’s leaving her but could have handled that and maybe even the stuff with her stepfather. At least she did not have to worry about dealing with him every day now.

Things got worse, though. She finally got up her nerve to try out for cheerleading and now wished she never had to go to school again. She thought it might be different in this school. “I should have left well enough alone. It does not get you many friends; but being the best Math student in the school should have been enough.” She could hardly stop shaking inside when she thought about it, which was only a thousand times a day.

The competition was in front of everyone at a pep rally. It started out well enough until it was Holly’s turn. Not only did she forget the words to the cheer, she fell into the pep band while trying to make a jump. If hurting herself were not enough, she also felt like the joke of the school forever it seemed.

Just when she knew it could not get worse, it did. A new boy in school moved in on her one special place. Not only was he a Math whiz, everyone liked him, including the Math teacher. Her teacher’s saying, “Being the second best Math student in the school is nothing to feel badly about,” only made her feel worse.

“There is nothing special about me. At least Steve thought I was pretty and now he is dead.” It was all too much. Holly’s world was out of control. “Being dead would be a relief. There is no way out. I can’t stand this. I’ve got to do something to stop the pain. I just want out.”