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16. They do not feel like someone anyone can love.
This is the bottom of the self-esteem ladder. The child has totally devalued her self. She sees herself as a zero. She has given up.
Think about how it went. It went from worrying and fretting to giving up easily. It went from not trying to self-hatred. The child now is at the end of the line.
From her point of view, they were right after all. She has no value. She is not someone anyone loves. Why? Because she is just not lovable. People may say they care. They may even pretend to love her. It is not possible for anyone to love her. She is not someone anyone should love.
When self-esteem has been this permanently destroyed, the child has a lifelong handicap. It is something from which she can never fully recover.
What can you do? Each gentle touch makes life slightly less bad for her. Each quiet moment gives her a small taste of belonging. Each time you listen says she matters a little. Each time you are sensitive and patient, she is a little less handicapped. But still the damage happened and will be there for a very long time.