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Foster Children And Learning Difficulties

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22. They often get confused.

You will notice this sign in your foster child in a couple of ways. First, the child has trouble getting the story straight when talking about things that happened. He might leave out important details or get things out of order. He might not have the time element right or misread the motives or behavior of people. He is confused about what happened.

The problem can come up in a different way. The child gets into trouble. He is surprised and does not understand. He may become angry, very upset, and then get into more trouble. It is like a confusing snowball. When it gets as big as it is going to get, the child has no idea what happened. He just figures he is in trouble again for who knows why. It is for sure he does not know.

This sign can cause the child to get confused and can cause him to have behavior problems. He also may have major school problems because he gets as confused about what happens in class as he does almost everywhere he goes. Many children who have trouble getting along have this problem.

This kind of difficulty is hard to diagnose and understand. The child may have more problems in some situations than in others. It is hard to predict. It can spill over into what he reads. He may get as confused about events in a book as in the real world.

Your first step is to see the problem when it is there. There are many other explanations that are quicker and easier. It is easier to chock the problem up to not paying attention, lying, not trying, and on and on. Youngsters do get confused; and for some, it is a serious learning problem.

An example may help. Jerry is fifteen and is suspended from school. The latest mess went like this. He had been doing well for almost three months. This was a long time for Jerry. It started one Thursday when he got into it with a teacher. “She just cracked on me and gave me a detention.” He was asked why she did this. “I don’t know. She doesn’t like kids. She likes all the power.” What happened? “I wasn’t doing anything. She just comes up and tells me I have to move.” Why did she want him to move? “Who knows? She just likes jerking kids around.”

A few minutes later, he went on. “I don’t have to take it from her and told her so.” What happened then? “I’m suspended aren’t I? What does it look like what happened?” No, he is not covering up; he really does not understand what happened.