Does Your Lover Skidoo?

Here is a tool you can use when you find yourself wondering whether that special person you are hanging around with is all that special. You know you are taking The High Road; but sometimes it's tough telling if your lover is actually on The High Road with you or just going along for the ride. If that little voice inside you is chattering away and you think it may be telling you something important, here is how to rate your lover as a High Road traveler.

Think about each statement below and how true it is for your lover, every time, in every way. If it's true most all the time, put a "3" beside the statement. If it's usually true but sometimes isn't, put a "2" beside the statement. If it's sometimes true but usually isn't, put a "1" beside the statement. If it's seldom to never true, put a "0" beside the statement. When you are finished, I will tell you how to rate your lover.

3 = Most always

2 = Usually

1 = Sometimes

0 = Seldom to never

My lover;

___ Is consistent and predictable.

___ Is fun to be around.

___ Is someone I'm strongly attracted to.

___ Gives our relationship his/her best shot.

___ Shows good self-discipline.

Which TATOR Are You? (Playing Office Games)

It is easy to start analyzing ourselves and others in our groups and organizations and to take what happens personally. A better way to look at what goes on is to understand that people grow into certain roles or styles and are usually just being whomever they are out of habit or just because that is the way their personalities are. They are just being TATORS. If we are able to understand this and accept them for the TATOR they are, we will be a lot more comfortable.

Which tator are you?

1. Agitator: Ajy likes to keep things stirred up, find fault, criticize, and make things seem worse than they really are.

2. Anitator: Anny likes to have the last word, always “gets his/her two cents worth in,” and always has an opinion on everything and likes to show others that he/she knows more than everyone else.

3. Commentator: Common likes to be sure that everyone knows everything that is going on, is in charge of gossip and “tattling,” and seems to talk all the time even if no one wants to listen or if everyone already knew about what is being said.

4. Dictator: Dick likes to take charge, boss everyone around, be the one who makes all the decisions, and generally be in charge of everything whether or not it is his/her business or responsibility.

5. Gravitator: Gravi is pretty much of a “couch potato,” always hanging around and there when others want a little privacy, and always seems to be too tired to help out, do things, or get out of the way.

6. Hesitator: Hezy can never decide, always waits to see what someone else’s opinion is and then uses that one, is very unsure of himself/herself, goes out of the way not to offend anyone or get anyone upset, and thinks that if he/she can please everyone all the time things will be okay.

7. Levitator: Leva thinks he/she is just a little better than everyone else, is sort of above it all most of the time, seems like he/she is looking down the nose at others, and feels pretty much superior to everyone else.

8. Meditator: Meda seems to take forever to do things because he/she has to think everything over very carefully before doing something, never wants to do anything quickly or on the spur of the moment because anything worth doing is worth thinking through carefully, and is usually hard to talk with because everything has to be analyzed and discussed in great detail.

9. Militator: Milla is always on guard and ready to go to war, will argue with anyone about anything anytime, never gives an inch, and is ready to stand his/her ground with anyone who tries to take advantage or confront him/her.

10. Precipitator: Precipi is one of those TATORS that is able to get other people into arguments and then walk away, say or do things that get others upset and then pretend like he/she is totally innocent, and seems to get things messed up or stirred up without seeming to have started it or without seeming to have been involved.

11. Spectator: Spec likes to stay on the sidelines and not really get involved, simply watch or listen without really participating, and just stays to himself/herself because that seems like the safest way of just getting by without getting involved.

12. Facilitator: Facili does not mind being out of alphabetical order because his/her job is to be helpful, to do things for other people, to be there when others need him/her, and to stay away from things that have to do with accepting responsibility, showing leadership, or running the risk of being blamed for what is done or how things turn out.

13. Baby Sweetator: Baby Sweet is the kind of TATOR that is always happy and cheerful no matter what, is too nice for anyone to get upset with even if he/she does something that they should get upset about, cries or has his/her feelings hurt very easily, and tries to get special treatment just because he/she is so sweet, innocent, and not really responsible for anything that happens that is bad or causes problems for others.

Prejudice Is Unavoidable

Are you prejudiced? It won’t be surprising if you quickly say that you are not. But what is prejudice? It is Being biased or having a belief or attitude formed beforehand. It is to pre-judge.

 

I think the reality is that we are all prejudiced about some things and about some people. Actually I doubt if it is possible to grow up in a particular society at a particular time without developing prejudices about some people or groups of people in particular. We have opinions about people in our family, in our community, people in proximity to us. In turn we have opinions about people outside of our direct experience. The truth is that it would be very difficult if not impossible to function without these prejudices. Were it not for these pre-formed opinions about people, we would have to start from scratch every time we interact with someone new.

 

The problem comes in when we have negative or pejorative opinions of and attitudes toward groups of people simply because of their membership in a group different than ours. This is especially true when the individuals have no real choice about membership in the group. They are members of group X and we have subconsciously made prejudicial judgments about group X.

 

I suspect our list of personal prejudices would be fairly long for most of us. Having those prejudices is not all that much of an issue. They come with life and living. The issue is keeping the prejudices, not examining them, not making rational decisions about whether or not to maintain the prejudices we have naturally come to have.

 

In this episode of the Audio Tidbits Podcast, I explore the elements of prejudice and suggest some strategies we can implement to minimize how much they control our thinking, our behavior, our interactions with other people. With time and effort we can move away from judging people more or less exclusively based on which group they belong to and mostly on what they do, what they believe, how they relate to and interact with the rest of us.

Virtue, Conscience & Personal Style

In this episode of the Audio Tidbits Podcast, Peter shares his perspective on character and virtue. Our choice boils down to a commitment to doing right or to doing wrong. As Peter concludes, when you get down to it, it’s not much of a choice. The key is consistently sticking to our choice. Please listen and see if you come to the same conclusion. I think you will.

Experience Is The Best Teacher

Experience is what you suddenly have at the moment you understand that what you just did probably was not your best choice. Yes indeed. Nothing succeeds like experience. If you are saying, “Ain’t it the truth,” you will likely enjoy this episode of the Audio Tidbits Podcast. If you don’t know what all the fuss is about, you should not go another day without listening to the message in this episode and taking it to heart.

Children: Our Most Important Resource?

“Children are our most important resource.” I picked up a book about #ChildWelfare practice today that started with this interesting assertion. It was simply presented as a given, with no further justification or explanation. That is not surprising since I have heard it so many times that it is nearly a cliché.

 

I would like to be able to say that I questioned the assertion the first time I heard it but unfortunately I did not. It sounded right so I took it for granted that it was right. For some reason I don’t understand, the concept struck me as very odd when I read it today. Instead of glossing over the assertion and getting to the real content of the book, I was stuck. I could not get past the idea that children are a resource and especially the notion that they are our most important resource.

 

In this episode of the Audio Tidbits Podcast, I explore this generally held belief and question whether it is true. Spoiler: I don’t think it is. Please listen and see what you think.

Child Protection: Family-Centered?

This episode focuses on child welfare practice and is a deviation from the usual content of the Audio Tidbits Podcast. I was recently discussing child protection practice with some friends who are still practicing. Although I have not practiced for a few years, I was struck by their commitment to family centered practice.

 

When I retired from practice, I was convinced that a child centered model best served the interest of abused and neglected children. Even then that was a minority point of view. In the conversation with my friends, their perspective was still not persuasive for me.

 

I have thus retrieved a paper I wrote about ten years ago and am sharing it here. As I reconsider the paper, I continue to think that all things considered, a child centered approach to protecting abused and neglected children is still preferable to the family centered model as I understand it.

 

If you find this type of discussion interesting, I leave it to you to come to your own conclusion. If it is not of interest to you, be assured that the next episode of the Audio Tidbits Podcast will return to the type of content you have come to enjoy.

Gripes, Arrogance & Dr. Seuss

The podcast team has an interesting take on gripes, arrogance and the wisdom of Dr. Seuss and others. They also touch on not getting too big for your britches and on the value of the suggestions of others who would have you different than you are. Please listen to the podcast and see if you agree. Also, please consider subscribing to The Audio Tidbits Podcast on your favorite podcast player.

Denny Has Retired — Let’s Remember

I have told you before about Denny, the world’s 16th greatest guide dog. Well, Denny was with me for over ten years but the day finally came for him to retire. I won’t go into the details but Denny’s health had gotten to the point where being a guide dog was no longer possible.

 

Yes, it was very sad. He was unable to work anymore but his heart was still very much up to doing what he had done for over a decade. On his last day, he came to have his harness put on and so wanted to go with me again. It was not to happen but his spirit was ever willing.

 

Now I have Oliver. He is a twenty month old black lab and is eager to be my guide dog. We spent two weeks training together at Pilot Dogs after his six months of guide dog training. The two weeks were for the two of us to begin to bond and get used to working together. Oliver is home now and learning about his new environment and responsibilities. So far, things are going quite well.

 

To remember Denny and the five other Pilot dogs that came before Oliver, I am re-posting a podcast about my first six Pilot dogs. It will be a while before I am ready to update the podcast to include Oliver but his day in that spotlight is out there on the far horizon. He is Pilot dog seven for me and I expect we will have as satisfying a journey as with each of his six predecessors.

 

For now, join me in remembering Dr. Pepper, Fellow, Blacky, Ben, Quincy, and Professor Denny. Oliver has big paws to follow but is, I am sure, totally up to the challenge.

Are You A Thinker?

Are you a thinker? It seems that most of us are not. As it turns out, if we were to actually think twice a month, we would move into the thinker elite.

 

The Audio Tidbits Podcast team shares their perspective on thinking, what it means to think, and why thinking is a good thing. What is the meaning of life, how do we tell right from wrong, and where is the value in a sunny day? These and more think-worthy considerations are in the podcast for us. Please listen and give it a good think.

An Episode For Deep Thinkers

This is a special episode for those of you who like to think deep thoughts. Please listen to see if the podcasting team catches your attention and interest. Finding a few minutes for a deep thought or two can’t be a bad thing. The episode includes a cameo deep thought from Marissa Crow. That is reason enough to listen.

Annoying People | Missing Muses | Magic

The podcast team has three special segments for you in this episode. You hear about annoying people while waiting on a place to park, the missing muse that might not have been missing, and the mystery of modern day magic. Please listen and enjoy.

You Don’t Say!

How often do you find yourself just sitting around with a few friends and the conversation gradually dies? At first it is comfortable but after a while, it starts to get awkward. You can’t think of anything to say.

 

Do we have a deal for you. The team has gotten together to share two hundred and fifty two oldies but goodies to say to jump start the conversation. We know that you have heard them all before but having them handy can’t hurt when you are at a loss for words.

 

Relax. It takes a while.

 

Press play. Here we go.

Life’s Little Lessons Vol. 4

Thank you for choosing to go skidooing with us. We all have learned many of life’s little lessons and certainly have found some of them more helpful than others. Daniel has developed a series of skidooing episodes that he thinks represent priority lessons. Those are lessons we should all take to heart. Please listen to this episode and consider whether you agree with Daniel.

Life’s Little Lessons Vol. 3

Thank you for choosing to go skidooing with us. We all have learned many of life’s little lessons and certainly have found some of them more helpful than others. Daniel has developed a series of skidooing episodes that he thinks represent priority lessons. Those are lessons we should all take to heart. Please listen to this episode and consider whether you agree with Daniel.

Life’s Little Lessons Vol. 2

Thank you for choosing to go skidooing with us. We all have learned many of life’s little lessons and certainly have found some of them more helpful than others. Daniel has developed a series of skidooing episodes that he thinks represent priority lessons. Those are lessons we should all take to heart. Please listen to this episode and consider whether you agree with Daniel.

Life’s Little Lessons Vol. 1

Thank you for choosing to go skidooing with us. We all have learned many of life’s little lessons and certainly have found some of them more helpful than others. Daniel has developed a series of skidooing episodes that he thinks represent priority lessons. Those are lessons we should all take to heart. Please listen to this episode and consider whether you agree with Daniel.