Diane Loomans once reminisced, “If I had my child to raise all over again, I’d build self-esteem first, and the house later. I’d finger-paint more, and point the finger less. I would do less correcting and more connecting. I’d take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes. I’d take more hikes and fly more kites. I’d stop playing serious, and seriously play. I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars. I’d do more hugging and less tugging.”
Being a parent is both satisfying and challenging. Knowing exactly how to handle any situation can be very difficult. Sloan Wilson captured the central issue this way, “The hardest part of raising a child is teaching them to ride bicycles. A shaky child on a bicycle for the first time needs both support and freedom. The realization that this is what the child will always need can hit hard.”
Although being a parent is very complex and will have many twists and turns over the years, knowing how you and your child are doing through the process is less daunting. If the following statements are most always tru for you as a parent, both you and your child are most likely making the journey rather successfully. Before we get to the statements though, there is a point that needs emphasis. Joyce Maynard made the point for us this way when she said, “It’s not only children who grow. Parents do too. As much as we watch to see what our children do with their lives, they are watching us to see what we do with ours.”
Okay, here we go. Think about each statement and honestly decide if it is true for you. If it is, you and your child are probably doing just fine. If not, you definitely have some work to do and possibly changes to make with your parent relationship with your child.
1. I am reasonable and fair when disciplining my child.
2. I know what my child needs and what is important to him or her.
3. I am able to get my child to cooperate with me.
4. I spend time with my child everyday.
5. My child likes to spend time with me.
6. I am pleased with and proud of my child.
7. I am familiar with and interested in my child’s activities.
8. I know about and am helping with my child’s problems and difficulties.
9. I set a good example for my child.
10. I give my child his or her space.
11. My child and I regularly talk with each other.
12. I am interested in my child’s ideas and thoughts about things.
13. I support and encourage my child’s being who he or she is and his or her unique style.
14. I am a good parent.
Now you know so there you go.